A Good Day

So it has begun. The long nights, the waiting anxiously to hear from my husband. It feels at times like the challenge is just to get from this day to our reuniting. The in-between is just what we endure as we wait.

That’s not good enough for me.

If he is gone 1 day or 500 days each one is still a gift. I refuse to allow those days, weeks, and months to be stolen by worry.

Each and every day I want to awake in the morning and lie down at night knowing that today… today was and is a good day.

This morning a young woman sat in my office sharing with me some of her struggles in an overseas assignment. In this particular city each house was surrounded by a large wall. As she walked down the street she felt caged in, trapped, needing desperately to get out of the city but without a means to do so. A colleague gifted her with a list of all the Bible verses she could find where walls are mentioned. As she read the verses the walls that loomed on either side of her took on a new meaning. Instead of being trapped they represented God’s protection and presence. They reminded her of the walls of the New Jerusalem found in Revelations. They no longer make her feel trapped, instead they have become a reminder of God’s promises.

Deployment is like those walls. We can view deployment as a barrier to our dreams, a division in our marriages, and we can succumb to feelings of being trapped and isolated. It does not have to be that way. Instead we can find a way to praise God for deployments. We can thank Him for the time we are given to focus more on Him, for the reminder of how precious our spouses are and the strength God has given us to wait.

 ”Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 ESV

What is the one thing about deployment that feels the most overwhelming to you? How can you praise God for it? 

(if you are having trouble with the second question try typing in the answer to the first question at  www.openbible.info/topics and see what pops up) 

Have you found yours?

Have you read the Book of Esther? If not it’s a must read. This woman is a great example to us. Ripped from her family she was forced into a life style she did not desire and spent a year preparing to have one night with the king. And if she was good enough in the sack she would end up his Queen. Nope no pressure.

Like Esther, more than likely like you, I grew up with a much different perspective of who I would one day become. Esther was a Jewish orphan. She probably dreamed of leading a normal life, marrying a normal Jewish husband and having normal Jewish children. Perhaps she even had dreams of returning to Israel and rebuilding, as many of her people were doing. Even if her daydreams took her to being Queen of Persia she never could have imagined being the one person, a Jewess orphan, who stood between her people’s salvation and annihilation.

God calls ordinary people to do some overwhelmingly difficult tasks. What has He called you to do?

Click on the picture to read about a Navy Wife who appears to have found her voice in a world that was drowning it out.

Have you found yours?

Home Schooling Again

I am jumping back in. Yep my house will eventually look like a solar system, art work will be strung from wall to wall, and bulletin and dry erase boards will take the place of family pictures.

Everyone has a different reason for home schooling. Personally I have a multitude of reasons but the final decision came down to: El Paso is simply a great community to home school in. There are so many opportunities for the kids that they miss out on during school hours. This year our schedule is going to be full with Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Cross Country Practices, Ice Skating, trips to the Museums, Spanish Class, Art Class, Co-Ops,  road trips to New Mexico, Arkansas, Florida and Tennessee.

Here are just a few of the resources we are tapping into and that make El Paso so home school friendly. Sunrise Baptist Home School Co-Op, Ft Bliss Home School Association, Vista Hills Home School Ministry, Ft Bliss Friday Co-Op, Southwest Home Schooling Network, and all the many field trips and special events coordinated through El Paso Liberty Home School Network

Yesterday I talked a little about how upcoming changes in our home life are effecting the children. I truly believe that home schooling gives them a sense of security.

Education should be fun, hands on, and life long. I’ve also learned that during stressful times, for my own sanity, being tied down to one place with 4 walls and no escape is not healthy. When we first enlisted in the Army the one thing that I was excited about (because yes at first I was an unwilling participant in this new life) was the traveling. The idea of starting fresh every few years, of all the people we would meet and the places we would see thrilled me. So occasionally, I love the freedom of tossing a bag or two in the back of the car and heading out on a little adventure. Home schooling gives us that freedom. This year I’m thinking a Billy the Kid History Lesson/Road Trip is just the sort of adventure my son would love!

Deployment and Children

I can already sense the difference. I’ve been told that each deployment brings with it new challenges and no two are the same. This time… I’m pretty sure… is going to be all about the children.

Daddy left for a month. And they fell apart. We entered the world of baby talk, bed wetting, and continuous tears (a world we exited along with diapers over 2 years ago). One night our middle daughter nearly hyperventilated just desiring a hug from dad.

Needless to say, I took a short hiatus from blogging. But I’m back. And for now I’m focusing on my kids.

I remember when John returned from his last deployment and our then 2 year old sat on his lap for an hour staring at him and then at the phone, then at him, then at the phone… it continued for a full hour until she seemed to realize that yes daddy wasn’t just a voice he was real and he was holding her. They were so little the last time. This time they know whats coming and I see the fear in their eyes.

I’m searching the books on my shelves, the links I’ve been given, and calling to mind the advice I received before. One thing I do know. Being real about my emotions, seeking strength from my faith, and taking care of myself were essential components of surviving the first time around and those same lessons I learned for my own well being are the ones that will be the lessons I hope to pass on to my children.

There are some great resources out there. Both HealthyChildren.org and the US Department of Veterans Affairs gives brief descriptions of what to look for in children’s behavior and how to listen, protect, and openly discuss their feelings. The thing my children seem to love the most is daddy leaving behind a small army item in their care… For one it may be a camo pillow, an army cap, or an old PT shirt to sleep in. While he is gone they enjoy receiving letters and trinkets as well as videos of him reading their favorite books.

What are some ways you have helped your children cope with deployment? 

Because sometimes…

Because sometimes (ok more often then not) I do need some time to recharge…

Listen to Jesus’ Invitation He tells us to get away and find some time ALONE (not in group therapy, small groups, or on facebook) with just Him.

This world can overwhelm me and I have to get away. I have to remember the Cross, the Resurrection and the reason for it all. I have to remember even in the midst of my own garbage that Christ still loves me. He has always loved me, even before I came to Him, and He always will love me, even when I screw up.

Because sometimes I don’t know what the real issue is anymore…

Is it bullying, sexuality, obesity or free speech? I’m honestly confused. If I eat a chicken sandwich what am I taking a stand for or against exactly? I thought I was just going to a business whose food I enjoy and whom I have seen first handed do great things for the community. Ok I’m a little biased since I worked for them for about 7 years (one of those years as a Marketing Director). I never once saw hate while working there.

Drive Thru Bully depicts how I (as a customer) have always been treated by the employees. Pretty sure there are a few drive thru’s out there where the driver of that car would have received an icey cold wake up. I mean really she was armed with ice water. The “Rachel” in that video shined. Talk about keeping your head under pressure.

And yet I’m still left scratching my head two days after the Chickfila Revival. What is the real issue here? Is it that Christians for to long have been bullying men and women based on their sexuality so now the bullying has shifted the other direction and we are angry about it? Is it that we should all be free to say what we believe or that we should keep our mouth shut in fear of persecution? Is it that the almighty dollar is stronger then the love of Christ? Is it that fried chicken and soda lead to obesity? Or is it just that no matter what the “hot topic” of today is people throughout history believe that they alone hold the only opinion that matters?

Because sometimes it’s hard to extend grace when I only feel fear and anger…

But there are those who suffer at the hands of evil more viciously then I do and still find the ability to love those who have hurt them. Colorado Church Prays For Movie Gunman That Took The Life of Church Member – So Inspiring! from ourprecioussavior on GodTube.

Even in the worst of stories beauty and heroes emerge and I am reminded that evil has not won. Beautiful Sacrifice – 4 Boyfriends Lay Down Their Lives For Their Girlfriends in the Movie Shooting from sharethemessage on GodTube.

The shootings in Aurora, Colorado, made a lot of people stop and think about how they would react in a similar crisis. Would they try to save others, or save themselves? The most famous example of men sacrificing their lives for others was the Titanic, where 70 percent of women passengers survived, compared to only 20 percent of the men. Some Swedish university researchers wondered if that kind of chivalry was the rule. So they studied 18 shipwrecks going back to the 1850s and discovered, sadly…no.

Only on the Titanic and the HMS Birkenhead in 1852 did women have a higher survival rate than men. Generally, children had the lowest survival rate of all. It seems that in a crisis, the vast majority of people are more likely to follow the rule of “every man for himself.” But in Aurora, when the shooting started, three men – Matt McQuinn, Jonathan Blunk and Alex Teves – all shoved their girlfriends to the floor and shielded them from the bullets with their own bodies, giving their lives so the women could survive. We knew those men were exceptional. Now we know just how exceptional.

For more of the Huckabee Report, visit MikeHuckabee.com.

“I don’t know how to say it exactly. Only…I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense? I don’t want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I’m not.” (Peeta, from the Hunger Games)  I don’t want the world to change me. I know that some will hate me because I choose to live my life by a different standard. And that’s ok. My goal is to simply show the world, the world that is perishing, that God loves them and desires to have a relationship with them. It doesn’t matter your gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, tats, or hair color.

GOD LOVES YOU. He is just waiting for you to love Him back.

Pornography and Chocolate

Our secret indulgences hurt no one. The things we do late at night affect only our waist line and insomnia. Pornography and Chocolate really have nothing in common, or do they.

As an Army Wife I know the struggle of loneliness, the pain of separation. There are quick fixes to sooth these aches and I would like to suggest two: Pornography and Chocolate.

Let’s start with Chocolate. The immediate satisfaction of dark chocolate brings an instant smile to my lips. But that smile is as fleeting as the taste and I reach for more. One of my deepest struggles is that I am an emotional eater. Because of this, when my husband is deployed, things like chocolate ice cream are banned from our home. I will happily sit down and eat the entire gallon only to end up with a stomach ache and overwhelming guilt before the spoon ever hits the bottom.

Pornography is widely accepted in our lifestyle, for the men and the women equally. What lonely Army Wife doesn’t want a small guiIty pleasure like Magic Mike or 50 Shades of Grey  filling the empty hours.  I have been to a number of girl’s nights out where the topic of Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum in their ACUs or lack of was the forefront of conversation. We send porn to our men down range and we stash it in our rooms in the form of movies, magazines, and on our computer. When our men return home it is not uncommon to pop it in and enjoy a show together.

Recently Moody Publishers sent me the book Dirty Girls Come Clean by Crystal Renaud for me to review.

 {Material Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from Moody Publishers in exchange for an honest review.}

Crystal Renaud is very honest in her own struggle and mixes practical help along with testimonies of women who have overcome and many who still are struggling to overcome the addiction of pornography in their lives. The author’s desire to help women live full lives is obvious. It is a confessional of her own struggles and a testimony of triumphant to any woman who feels like she is alone in this addiction. Porn is no longer a “guy thing” and Dirty Girls Come Clean gives women who struggle the resources and tools necessary to gaurd their hearts and their minds.  I strongly recommend this book to any woman struggling with porn addiction and to women ministry leaders who need to come alongside them to help them in their battle.

You can follow the author, Crystal Renaud’s blog at dirtygirlsministries.com/blog/

Now I know I’m not winning friends here but I have to say it- pornography, no matter how innocently it is first approached, is not good for our marriages. It leads to expectations in the marriage bed that cannot be met. I have seen lives and marriages destroyed over what started as a guilty pleasure during times of separation.

And yes, I’ve heard the argument, isn’t looking better then cheating. My response isn’t remaining pure and loving and fantasizing only about your soldier even better. Jesus said, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart”  (Matthew 5:28 NKJV). And ladies that goes same for us.

Lust has been the downfall of many in real life and in literature. (Just to name a few: Sampson, Helen of Troy, Bella from Twillight, Jimmy Swagart, and I would list a few politicians but one only need look in their twitter feed …) It leads to war, to defeat, to death, and to prostitution. Sadly it contributes to human trafficking as well. (don’t believe me, just google “porn and human trafficking” or simply check out CBN’s report on a documentary called “Sex and Money”)

If you struggle with pornography know that you are not alone. There is help. In the book there are steps that it walks you through and there are support groups like the Good Women Project and Dirty Girls Ministries where you can find loving, non judgmental help. The first step is just talking about it.

So what in the world does chocolate have to do with pornography.  Besides being a major temptation a large portion of the world’s chocolate sales contributes to human trafficking. (not all chocolate, but to much)

“Example – chocolate. 40% of the world’s cocoa is grown on the Ivory Coast and is sold to chocolate makers like Nestle, Hershey’s, and Mars/M&M. The U.S. State Department Human Rights Report on the Ivory Coast for 2003 estimates that approximately 109,000 child laborers worked in hazardous conditions on cocoa farms in what has been described as the worst form of child labor. Many of those children were kidnapped from other countries and trafficked in as slaves. “ End Global Slavery by Julie Clawson, author of Everyday Justice and The Hunger Games and The Gospel.

Our secret indulgences do hurt others. The things we do late at night affect more then our waist line and sleep. But the good news is we can change the world. By making small changes in our life styles, by being accountable to others, and by researching where our money and time go we can make big strides in our personal well being as well as the world’s.

Are You Happy?

As a military wife I have struggled with spouts of depression. The topic has come up a number of times lately, especially since the uniform switch. Some of the men headed out are in new uniforms and wives have told me that it brings with it spouts of anxiety attacks and just overwhelming sadness at what lies ahead. It is a hard life that we have been called to. But depression does not have to control us. Today’s post to The Esther Project is just a chance to evaluate where we are and how to move forward.

Today’s post was written by Deb and is taken from 5 Minutes for Faith with Deb’s permission of course.

Are You Happy? Do You Want to Be Happy?

Written on July 18, 2012 by Deb in Blog, Deb, Devotional

Let me begin by telling you that I have battled depression . . . both situational and chemical/hormonal. I’ve been depressed at times when the people around me understood, and at times when they had no idea what to do or how to help.

If you are dealing with depression know that I am praying for you as I write this.

Something I have learned from my struggle with depression:

I want to be happy!

If you want to be happy too . . . I have some suggestions for you:

1. Get help –  Talk to your doctor, talk to a counselor, confide in someone you trust. DON’T try to fight this alone. Sometimes Christians believe that getting help for depression shows a weak faith. I don’t agree. I knew the Lord and was on my knees faithfully even though I was depressed.

2. Help someone else - Serving others is a good way to help yourself feel better . . . even if it’s only temporary. However . . .

3. Monitor your activities – Some people want to go to bed and pull the covers over their heads when they’re depressed. I tend to go into hyper-mode, believing that if I move fast enough I will be able to ignore the struggle. Neither way is healthy. If you’re finding yourself dealing with either extreme it’s time to accept that you may be dealing with something more than just a bad mood.

I’m happy!

By God’s grace I am doing really well. I praise Him for these good days, but I also praise Him for those bad ones. Through both I have learned about myself. I’ve learned about people and mental health. The best thing I’ve learned is that God is who He says He is and I am able to trust Him more than ever before.

How about you?

If depression is robbing you of your happiness, determine today that you want to get help. It’s okay to want to be happy!

Will you please pray with me?

Father, We want to be happy. We want to trust You completely and joyfully obey You. But some days are hard. Really hard. We are hurting and we don’t know where to turn for help. Thank you for Your love, grace, and mercy. Thank You for allowing us to honestly come before You on both good and bad days. Help us. Guide and direct us. Deliver us from the pit, and stand us on solid ground. Thanks and praise. Amen.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Psalm 40:1-3

Photo Credit

Deb is a wife, mom, “gram,” and busy blogger. Visit Counting My Blessings, where she “gazes with gratitude at God’s amazing grace.” You can also find her at HomeGoods Openhouse and pick up tips and ideas for decorating on a budget. In 2010, she shared her personal happiness project in Woman’s Day Magazine and WD Happiness Blog. Deb loves serving in ministry beside her husband, Blake, and invites you to visit their internet prayer ministry - Pray for You.

Deb

View all posts by Deb
Debs website

So you STILL think God is a merciful God?!

Reblogged from A Miniature Clay Pot:

July 22 - a note of explanation

I've tried to leave this post just as it was originally written because it was a heartfelt response after a very traumatic experience.  But I'm sometimes clumsy with words and even when I think I am writing clearly, there is always the reader who doesn't know my heart or doesn't hear the words the way they were intended.

Read more… 1,537 more words

A powerful testimony from a survivor of the Aurora theater shooting. God is good even in the midst of tragedy.

Volunteering- Pt 2

Training Volunteers (aka Vs) is an essential part of a successful organization, outreach, or project.

As an FRG leader I love that training is built in and required before picking up a phone and officially being a key caller or before being handed a checkbook as the treasurer. As the Ministry Director of our church I struggle with the best way to train our already exhausted when they walk in the door volunteers who sometimes want nothing more then to be a “butt in the chair.” I have to say I detest filling chairs with nothing but butts. I find it a waste of everyone’s time and energy.

So I’m working on a way to train most effectively these “butts in the chair” into becoming passionate Vs pursuing God’s calling in their lives through service in the church, community and in building relationships. What I want to be able to communicate is that when we are passionate about God’s love, when we truly grasp His calling on our lives, a lack of sleep and an over full schedule will not hinder us from the vision that God has placed in our hearts.

When I am at my lowest, when I’ve hit the loneliest scariest places in my life, it is through outreach and service that I have found healing.

When Katie was diagnosed with Cancer at 6 months old my world fell apart. My vision for missions and for serving in the church vanished. For the next few months all I could think about was the why’s and the how’s. Why did this happen to us? How were we going to continue on? Then St. Jude Children’s Hospital gave us a way to reach out. They sent Katie on this crazy mission to be Chili’s spokesperson for their 2007 September fundraisers. Chili’s had committed to give St Jude millions of dollars over the course of 10 years (sorry I don’t remember the exact amount I just remember it was hunormous). In the midst of every other week trips to St Jude for doctor visits Katie and our family embarked on a fundraising adventure. There were professional photo shoots, dad and Katie’s picture featured in Wall Street Journal in a full page spread, a trip to New York to be on Good Morning America, and the chance to present an $8, 201,975 check to St Jude from Chili’s.

Our picture is on the wall at St. Jude. Ok really it is a picture of John and Ian but behind him you can see Katie’s feet dangling and the bottom of my skirt.

Suddenly it was no longer about why this was happening to us. It became how can I give back to this amazing hospital that saved my child’s life and the lives of our new friend’s children as well. We were given a purpose and a chance to heal.

The church offers the same. Life is hard, but when we stop focusing on the whys and hows of it happening to us and focus instead on the healing and love that Christ has offered us suddenly we find purpose. We love because Christ first loved us! Perhaps the first step in training volunteers for the church is to just get them to see how much Christ loves them and then naturally it will flow out into acts of love for others.

So for now I’m stepping back and developing a specific training program for the needs of our church. I’m holding off on starting a Wednesday night Children’s Ministry, not because it’s not needed, but because until I can adequately train and pass on the passion I have for this ministry then the program will fall flat. I love the advice given at Training of Church Volunteers for Ministry and I’m looking for alternative approaches to training to fit into our busy lives. I would love to hear suggestions from you: books, online courses, skype meetings, or pre-recorded sessions you can view in the comfort of your home are a few of the ideas floating around in my head.

A side note to families: To ensure the future of a giving culture it is important to train a child early on on the importance of giving back to the community. If you are wondering how to nurture a volunteer spirit into your children check out this article, How Should I Begin: Growing Kids Who Care. Recently, I stumbled upon a mission organizations called Good Goers whose purpose is to send out families on mission trips. I can’t think of a better way to spend a week together! I love this group and what they are doing and hope to take my children (once the youngest is 5) on one of the trips. To view all of their upcoming trips go to goodgoers.com For now I’m planning to take my kids to the Mustard Seed and Peanut Kids Camps at Teen Missions International where they will learn all about world missions and have the opportunity to serve in Merida, Florida.

Whether we are giving of our time, finances, or posessions we need to remember that nothing was ever our’s to begin with. “God owns everything. You and I own nothing. All I think I “own” anyway I “owe” (I only “own” the mortgage). The best things about Len Sweet are not what I am able to give, but what I have already received. This has perhaps never been expressed in community life better than the membership commitment of The Church of the Saviour in Washington, D.C.  ”I commit myself, regardless of the expenditures of time, energy, and money to becoming an informed, mature Christian. I believe that God is the total owner of my life and resources. I give God the throne in relation to the material aspect of my life. God is the owner. I am the ower. Because God is a lavish giver I too shall be lavish and cheerful in my regular gifts.”" Leonard Sweet in Freely You Have Received, Freely Give 

What are ways you volunteer? What ways would you like to receive training as a volunteer? If you lead volunteers what are some ways you have found in effectively training?

Volunteering – Pt 1

I’ve been reading a lot lately on volunteering. Not that I’m looking for ways to volunteer, nope I’m looking to recruit a few. Recruiting volunteers is not just part of my day job, it is also something I’ve volunteered to do. Have I used the V word enough yet? Nope, sorry there’s more Vs coming.

In The New Breed Jonathan McKee talks about courting Vs. How I would love to do this? But a requirement of 5 coffee dates before getting the big YES is just outside of my budget. Unless of course my dates don’t mind my cheapness of office Keurig coffee and a bowl of toasted almonds. Perhaps that’s just it. I need to get creative in my courting and branch away from the franchised goodness of Starbucks. I do love the idea and being a V myself I know that there are a million different organizations competing for my commitment.

Here are just a few of the places you will find me volunteering: FRG Co-Leader, At*Ease, and Cru’s Military Ministry.

So here are some of my questions for those being courted:

What are you looking for in an organization? What makes you say yes to one volunteering role over another? Do you want to be wined and dined or are you just looking for someone who is interested in you as an individual?

And here are some of my questions for those doing the courting:

When courting potential volunteers what are you looking for? How do you know if the one you are recruiting is a good fit or not? What do you do to court your potentials (do you have a budget set aside or do you have some creative inexpensive dates you can share with us)?