Starting fresh? Don’t do it my way.

I’m staring down at a blank pad of paper with this foreign object called a pen in my hand. The past 24 hours has taught me a few things.

• ALWAYS back up your hard drive
• A piece of paper and a pencil are sometimes the safest way to write
• A fresh start may be frightening but brings with it new opportunities
• When we are passionate and called to a specific task defeat is not an option
• And thank goodness for my techy husband and that today he was not half a world away!

So what does this have to do with The Esther Project? Well besides potentially losing 40 pages of a manuscript it has given me the opportunity to start over and view the entire process from a new perspective (sorry Anne Lamott I know you told me not to but today I threw the baby out with the bath water!)

Don’t get me wrong I’m praying for recovery. The Esther Project wasn’t the only thing I lost: multiple family pictures, unpublished blog entries, and a completed article submission were amongst the many casualties. But also amongst those pieces were clutter and writings I should have cleared out long ago.

Fresh starts can be frightening, whether in writing or relocating. PCSing can be daunting but brings with it new challenges and opportunities. Many of us welcome the opportunity to leave the old behind while others of us dig our heels in and fight.

Each move brings challenges to the family. We require patience in hearing out our spouses desires whether in housing or in location and in hearing of our soldier’s new work demands and learning to adapt to a new Unit. We struggle to find the best schools. We stress over affordable housing as we enter the long waiting lists to get on post. But each move brings joy as we discover new faces and lifelong friends. Occasionally we are given the opportunity to  reconnect with others who relocated to our new town before us. And the one opportunity I believe to be the greatest is that we grow closer as a family reconnecting as our busy lives fall away. We spend bonding time in too small hotel rooms accompanied by our pets and suitcases.

The past falls away. The struggles and mistakes we’ve made at previous lcoations don’t have to follow us. We are given the chance to start fresh.

When we have committed ourselves to another (specifically our spouse) then no matter where the Army sends us one thing is certain. Our passion and desire for our husband does not waiver.

I may have lost the original manuscript to The Esther Project but I have not lost the passion in my heart or the commitment to see it through to publication. PCSing is not much different from writing. We may not see the next step clearly but if we just take one at a time…

Relocating does in fact seperate us from our loved ones and friends but that seperation can not defeat our resolve to actively be a part of one another’s lives.

Military friendships stand the test of seperation, they survive across oceans and through years. We are bonded by a calling that the civilian world can not fully understand. We stand by our husbands and together.

So as I wait patiently to see if my husband can in fact salvage my writings I know that no matter what the outcome it will be ok. Fresh starts are good, rewrites are even better.